The BarelyTech Privacy Policy
(Last Updated: The Day We Realized We Needed a Privacy Policy, so probably sometime recently)
Welcome to BarelyTech. We value your privacy, mostly because we don’t know what we’d do with your data even if we collected all of it. We’re “unremarkable,” remember? Still, the law requires us to tell you what’s going on, so here is the bare minimum.
1. The Super-Secret Information We Collect (It’s Not That Secret)
We collect the same boring stuff everyone else does, mainly to stop our website from spontaneously combusting and to see if anyone is actually reading our stuff.
Log Files: Our server keeps track of things like your IP address, your browser type, the time you visited, and what cosmic rays hit your computer that day. This data is for “analytics,” which means we check it occasionally to see if our site traffic is flatlining (it usually is). This information is not personally traceable back to you, unless you send us an angry email from the same IP, then we might connect the dots.
Cookies (Digital, not baked): We use cookies. They are tiny files stored on your computer. They help us remember if you’ve been here before and what videos you watched. If you’re visiting from a jurisdiction that requires consent, we are legally compelled to offer you a cookie banner. You can say no, but then you’ll have to see the same ad for that one product you looked at three months ago, which is honestly its own form of punishment.
Direct Contact Data: If you email us, comment on a post, or send us a carrier pigeon with a message, we get your name, email address, and whatever else you choose to share. We will use this to reply to you (unless your message is weird, then we might just awkwardly show it to our friends).
2. How We Use Your Information (The Thrilling Part)
To run the website: We use it to keep the digital lights on, make sure pages load, and fix any bugs that appear when we accidentally update.
To make better “Unremarkable” content: We check our analytics to see what tech you’re ignoring. This helps us make more videos about the obscure, barely-functional gadgets you should be ignoring.
Communication: If you subscribe to our non-existent newsletter (or one day, a real one), we’ll use your email to send you updates. You can unsubscribe anytime. We won’t be offended… probably.
3. Third Parties (They’re Watching, But Not Really)
We use third-party services (like YouTube, Google Analytics, etc.) to host videos, track traffic, and serve ads that pay for our instant ramen budget. These third parties have their own scary-long privacy policies. We encourage you to read them, but we completely understand if you’d rather not. We also haven’t read them.
4. Your Rights (The Legal Stuff)
Depending on where you live, you have certain rights over your personal data (The Right to Know, The Right to Delete, The Right to Object, etc.). If you want to exercise any of these rights, please email us. Since we barely know how to run a website, fulfilling these requests might take us a minute (or a week), but we will legally try our best.